Six months home! -Pic heavy

October marks six months home for Charlie.

When we met him, he was 3.5 years old and weighed only 16 pounds. 

Charlie was very weak, and had just begun sitting up on his own. He frequently fell over. Our 1.5 hour visits completely wore him out. He had no language. He wore size 9 month pants.

When he first came home, he was quite sick. We were in the ER one week after he came home, then again 2 days later for an 8-day stay. 

Once we got him healthier, we saw the real Charlie start to come out! We found out he's smart, a good imitator, and very observant. He's a quick learner! He quickly learned his first word, "All done!". It was a long summer as we met with many specialists and dealt with lots of fevers. In his first five months home, Charlie had 5 ER visits, 3 hospital stays (not including surgery), 2 day procedures requiring full sedation, a sleep study, one failed heart surgery attempt, and numerous consults, doctor appointments, xrays, and labs. And, finally, the heart surgery we'd been waiting for! 

Now, at 6 months home, Charlie has truly blossomed. He is my Superman. He's gained a whooping 11 pounds, weighing in at 27lbs. He's now in size 24 month clothes and is finally catching up to his little brother in size! He's gained a lot of strength and energy, as well. Charlie can sit for long periods of time, roll across the room, and bear weight on his legs for up to a minute! He works really hard at physical therapy and leaves us amazed. He's learned a half dozen spoken words and around 30 signs. 

Charlie is a completely different kid than the one we met in the orphanage. He's come so far in so many ways. I am so glad God blessed me with Charlie. I love you, rock star!

Jump!

First day of school! - Backdated

On October 14th, Charlie had his first day of school! He is in the school district's Early Childhood Special Education preschool class. I had/have mixed feelings about sending him off - he's so little, and I just got him! But he really seems to like it. Right now he's going 2 mornings a week, and in a few weeks he'll start going 3 mornings. He also has therapy twice a week, so he's a pretty busy little guy! They are doing in-class observations of Charlie before we do an IEP, which I am eager to get started on because then I know he'll be working towards goals in class, and not just there to watch the other kids, which I know he prefers! On Friday I asked his teacher (who is wonderful) if he was participating in class, and she said he would do some of the actions in the songs. I was glad to hear that! Charlie is able to do it, but I know he'd be much happier to sit back and watch! So I'm glad he's participating. Here's some pictures from his first day!

Charlie gets his very own wheelchair to use at school! It's pretty spiffy. It has a little more support than he really needs, but it's better than not enough! It's a smooth ride with a wide base, so the other kids are less likely to knock him over.

One of the best things about Charlie's class - there's another little Ukranian in his class! His buddy Stas was adopted close to a year before Charlie, and now they are both 4 year olds in the same class. It's pretty amazing!

They're on their way to being BFFs!

Brennan is 2!

Two years ago on September 26, my dreams came true and I became a mommy! My little man weighed in at 3lbs 10oz, but now at 2 years old he's nearly 30 pounds! Brennan has come so far, from a baby who didn't know how to breathe or eat on his own to a happy, silly, rambunctious toddler. He is absolutely delightful and I love him to pieces.

Charlie has been a bit of a blog hog lately, so this is for all the Brennan fans out there. :)
Brennan is swiftly moving from babbling all day to speaking English. I admit I'm sad to see the Brennan-ese go, but it's so much fun to hear real words in Brennan's little voice. Some of my favorites - kewkic (music), jujles (noodles), ursles (circles), popple (pineapple), bapples (apples), bapes (grapes), juge (orange), gackgack (backpack), bup (jump), Onsha or Ashon (his aunt Shonna), Bampa and Mehma (Grandpa and Grandma), and the adorable way he says "AhhSOME!" Brennan repeats pretty much everything we say! It's adorable. 

Lately Brennan has been a huge Charlie fan (and vice versa!). He gives Charlie hugs and kisses, and brings him toys and water. But my favorite is the way Brennan loves to entertain Charlie! Brennan will do things that he knows makes Charlie laugh - like running really fast back and forth, or jumping of the step. Brennan watches Charlie's face the whole time, and really gets a kick out of making Charlie laugh. When I'm feeling more ambitious, I might post a series of photos that demonstrates it. :)

Brennan's also into trucks and cars, balls, dirt and water, and playing outside. I think he'd play outside all day if we'd let him. He likes to watch cars go by, and naming what color they are. He knows all the colors, including grey, silver, and gold, thanks to cars! He has a bunch of toy trucks and cars that he'll drive around the playroom for about 20 minutes all by himself. Today I found a car rug (the kind with roads) at a garage sale so now his cars have somewhere to go! Brennan also loves books, and we read 8-10 books before naptime every day. One of them is the "truck book" which has a picture of a different truck on every page. He can "read" this one by himself! It's so cute!

I hope you enjoyed this look into Brennan's life. :)

Can you believe it??

We're HOME.

Charlie amazes me. On Friday, he had open heart surgery. On Thursday, he's at home playing in the sandbox.

Just playing, as if his chest had not just been cut open. I can't believe this kid. No one expected him to do this well. Even right after surgery, when he was doing so well, we were prepared for him to go downhill at any moment. I think it was day 3 before we started realizing that this was it - there was not going to be a downhill, there was just going to be awesomeness.

Charlie came home yesterday, on day 5 post-op. I am in complete awe of him. The only new meds he's on are tylenol and an antacid. No heart meds, pressure meds, or blood pressure meds. May I just say, !!!!. I had him wear his Superman shirt home from the hospital. It seemed appropriate. :)

Day 2 - with pics

It's the end of post-surgery day 2, and Charlie is wowing us all!
Initially, it took some work to get his blood pressure and sedation under control. But since then, he's been doing great. His pulmonary artery pressures- which we were worried would be high - have been perfect! Last night they began weaning him off the nitric oxide, which is used to lower pulmonary pressures. He came off of it completely by early this afternoon. And the best part is...Charlie came off the vent completely today! He came off around suppertime, and he's doing great. He's still on some oxygen through a nasal cannula, but it's nice to see his gorgeous little face without all the tape. Today he got rid of the vent, the nitric, foley, an IV pole, and another sat monitor from his forehead. There's much more room in here now, and it looks so much more normal. AND - he hasn't had a fever at all! Charlie is absolutely amazing. We were prepared for him to still have his chest open at this point, and be very sick. But he's perfect! We're so happy.
Now, here's some pictures. Warning: some of them are graphic.

Going to get my zipper

  

Shortly after surgery

So many tubes and wires!

Look, I'm breathing on my own!

I'm a rockstar!

 I'm also a little naughty, so I've been tied down.

But look at those AWESOME numbers!

In order: heart rate, blood pressure, pulmonary pressure, CVP, O2 sats, and respiratory rate - all where they should be. 

Way to go little man! 

Thanks for the prayers everyone!

Surgery's over!

Charlie came through with flying colors! He's doing much better than we expected. He will be kept sedated and paralyzed overnight. Tomorrow if he's doing well, they might start weaning him from the respirator. The only issue he has right now is maintaining a good blood pressure - but even that is going very well. YAY!
I keep staring at him - this feels so unreal. It was such an ordeal getting here, and now surgery is over. It's hard to believe. We're exhausted, but glad Charlie is doing so well.

Surgery, Take Two

Charlie's surgery is scheduled for Friday morning. I've been holding my breath to see if it's really going to happen, and so far it's a go! Pre-op is tomorrow - merely a part of an insane day. Our bags are mostly packed, various projects are ready, we're almost ready to go. This time, I'm not nearly as nervous as I was last time. I feel much more prepared and I think it will go great!
Tomorrow Brennan is going to go to daycare for the first time. It's strictly a back-up daycare that contracts with a few companies; Ken's company being one. So we get 20 days a year for only $15! We visited today and at first B wouldn't even walk inside. But then he saw some fish, and a baby, and he was good to go! Today they only had three kids. It's hard to leave him there but I think Brennan will have a blast! He'll go a few days next week as well.
Back to chores...

The cuteness of Brennan

Brennan was particularly cute today. Or maybe I just got enough sleep last night. ;) So, mom readers, here's some cute Brennan stories of the day:
~This morning, Brennan decided his red "feffer" (sweater) was awesome. So he went to the park in a red sweater and green pants. I tried to convince him to change into a different sweater, but he thought that was an awful idea! At the park he was getting warm, so I asked him if he wanted his sweater off, but he got upset and whined "More!" until I assured him he could keep the sweater on!
~At snack time, I let B choose between two things, and he chose a "popple" (pineapple) fruit cup. He wouldn't let me open it for him, because he wanted to feed himself. So I said, "Fine. You can have it. What are you going to do with it now?" He thought for a minute and then shyly handed it to me!
~When we were coloring, he signed "black", with an UNcapped black marker in the same hand. Do you know what happens when you do that? You get a black line on your face!
~We recently taught Brennan how to kick a ball. So now he runs around the yard with the ball, and he yells "KICK!" every single time he kicks the ball. It's adorable!
~Another recent "skill" is jumping (falling) off the bottom step of our stair case. Brennan runs over and signs jump, then waits for us to say "Ready?" and then he jumps/steps/falls off. Both boys thinks it's hysterical, and it occupies them for minutes! Brennan pronounces it "bup".

That's a miniscule glimpse of the cuteness I deal with every day.

In Charlie news, he has his Infectious Diseases doctor appointment tomorrow. I'm hoping we can work everything out to be on the surgery schedule next week. It's not likely to work, because our surgeon is pretty full usually. But here's hoping for good news tomorrow...

Home

Charlie's home.
We had a roller coaster of a stay. We were back and forth on surgery on Thursday, and each "yes", "no", and "maybe" brought a slew of emotions. On Wednesday, the surgeon came in and told us Charlie would be on the schedule Thursday. He walked out, and a minute later came back in and told us one of his cultures grew, so surgery was officially off. We were totally bummed. It turns out that Charlie has a UTI. They kept him in the hospital long enough to make sure that he was responding to the antibiotics, and we got home late this afternoon. We had been told that Charlie could have surgery next week, but we found out today that's no longer the case. Apparently, in their conference this AM, the infectious diseases doctors decided they wanted to prevent this from happening again. So the current plan is to keep Charlie on antibiotics until the 8th, and then switch him over to a maintenance dose. And then he needs to be fever-free for a week before they'll let him have surgery. I'm angry and I disagree. If they want to prevent this from happening again ('this' being finding the infection in the OR), then they should do surgery soon! It's very unlikely that Charlie will remain fever-free for very long. If he does get a fever in the next 1.5 weeks, I'm supposed to bring him to the ER and have them page the peds ID on call. Areyoukiddingme. I should make them babysit Brennan while I make these ER trips. I'm going to try and call them and see if I can get a better plan, but they have such random clinic hours, I don't know how easy it will be. We have an appointment next Wednesday, so we might have to wait until then, but that definitely rules out surgery next week.

So, that's where we stand as of now. Charlie will probably not have surgery until late September. If that's the case, I'll have them push it out til October, because we have a lot going on at the end of September. Charlie won't be able to start school this semester, but I was on the fence about that anyway. And this does give us more time to pack some pounds on Charlie - in this hospitalization Charlie lost every ounce we'd worked so hard for these last few weeks. But knowing that makes me more eager to put weight on Charlie - he loses it so fast! He needs every ounce he can get!

We learned a few more things that will help us for the actual surgery. We learned Charlie's chest will likely be left open for a few days after surgery. He'll be in the hospital for longer than we thought. I am going to pack differently next time - instead of a backpack with a change of clothes, I'm going to pack a suitcase with a week's worth of stuff. That way, even when I do get to come home, I don't have to spend time running around and repacking things. So all is not lost. Also, Brennan learned how to say "Mommy is awesome". So, that's awesome.
 

Surgery Fail

We got here, handed Charlie off, they put him under and intubated him...and he had a fever of 102.2. The surgeon came out to the waiting room to talk to us, and you never want to see that. Also, when a seasoned heart surgeon says a hole is HUGE and NEEDS to be closed...also not good.


We knew this might happen, but we're still disappointed and frustrated. They're doing ANOTHER full work up - labs and blood cultures, etc. - and if they STILL don't find anything, we will again push ahead with surgery. They just want to make sure they're not missing something simple like an ear infection before they cut him open. We're in the PICU right now. They're going to clean out and look in Charlie's ears while he's still sedated, and then he'll be un-sedated and extubated. I'm glad because the sedation keeps wearing off - it's often this way in kids with ds - and Charlie gets ANGRY and fights the vent. It's hard to watch and nothing calms him down (except more drugs!). My poor guy. We'll be in the hospital for at least 48 hours for antibiotics until his blood cultures come back clear. We *might* be able to have surgery on Thursday - the surgeon is trying to fit him in so we can get this done. Otherwise it will be next week. In the meantime, we're just hanging out and trying to keep Charlie healthy.

Surgery in the morning!

Tomorrow morning is Charlie's heart surgery. We have to be there at 6:30freakingAM and surgery is at 8:30. That's less than 12 hours - gulp! Today he had pre-op, which included an echo, an EKG, labs, a chest xray, and an appointment with the physician's assistant. It was a long day, and Charlie missed his nap, but he still did really good! He's pretty awesome like that!

The CT scan didn't really give us any answers. His lungs looked "junky" - which is common in kids who aren't breathing on their own (intubated). Charlie's lungs looked more junky than typical, but the radiologist thought that's what it was anyway. Also, there was one lymph node in his chest that was slightly enlarged. More "slightly", more non-answers. It could be a clue, but it's probably nothing. All the doctors agree it's best to go ahead with surgery and hope it solves everything. The surgeon will grab the lymph node if he can while he's in there, but he's not going to dig around for it. Lately, Charlie's fevers have been less frequent and not as bad, so maybe whatever it is/was is getting better anyway!

Brennan is spending the night at my parent's house, and I already miss him. It's hard to be away from him when he doesn't understand why, and I'll miss seeing my little sidekick everyday. He'll spend most of the time with my parents, with other family pitching in here and there. And Ken will take him home to sleep at night, for the most part. I feel so bad for him, but luckily he's a pretty easy-going kid who loves his "Gammas" and "Bampas"!

In other news...Charlie now signs "duck"! It's pretty cute. He's up to about 10 signs now. And Brennan knows his colors! He's still working on a few, like brown. But he knows the rainbow plus gold, black, white, and pink. He's really been focused on it and names colors of things he sees all.day.long. He loves to name the colors of cars, which is how he knows "gold". As he says, "mommy car gold"! He's getting better at saying "More ____" instead of generic whining. Yesterday he also said "Where Daddy going?"! Can you tell I love language development? ;)

I REALLY need to go to bed. I'll try and update tomorrow!

Vocab update and lack of CT update

Life is never dull with two toddlers around! I had no idea to little boys could be so time-consuming - and so messy! I was going through some old photos and I noticed how clean my house was when I only had one pre-mobile baby. Ah, the good old days... At least my kids are super cute, so I forget about the mess.

I was hoping to have an update about Charlie's medical issues...but I don't. On Tuesday he had a CT scan, and I still haven't gotten the results. At least two specialties were going to look at them, maybe three. First each specialty looks at it, and ponders. Then they discuss, then ponder. Then they talk about Charlie at one of their conferences, where they usually decide on something (their decision may be: Wait and see what Other Specialty says...). Then, they may or may not decide to tell me about it! Cardiology has conferences every Tuesday and Friday, and they talk about Charlie often! Even though I get frustrated with all the waiting, the doctors are working behind the scenes. In fact, the pulmonologist and infectious diseases doctor attended conferences with cardiology specifically to talk about Charlie. It's great that his doctors are working so hard for us, but in a way, kind of depressing that they have to.

Anyway, the last time I spoke with cardiology, no one had a plan what to do when they got the results of the CT scan - they were just kind of hoping an answer would pop out at them. So, even if the scan was clear - they still would need to come up with a plan. The ID doctor was still "thinking about things" and planned on discussing Charlie with a few of his colleagues. They may decide to treat him for TB, even if nothing shows up on the scan, because that's the most likely cause for all of Charlie's fevers. I really hope that whatever they do decide, they do NOT move Charlie's surgery. It's only ten days away! Since Charlie can't get sick within two weeks of surgery, we haven't been going anywhere. No church for either of the boys, no library, no Target, nothing. Only therapy and doctor's appointments. I do not do well being home all the time, so I don't want all this time inside to be for nothing and have to start over!

Meanwhile, the boys are torturing me with cuteness. They are really that adorable. Brennan is learning colors. He knows all the color names and their signs, but he only correctly guesses a color about a third of the time. He's working hard at it though! All throughout the day he brings me objects and says, "Purple!" or "Orange!" Usually he's wrong, but it's oh so cute. Yesterday he had marker all over his hand, and while we were playing he'd stop periodically, study his hand, yell out "Blue!" and then go back to playing! He cracks me up. Brennan's vocabulary is growing fast - both spoken and sign. He's still hard to understand in both languages, but it helps when he uses them together. Brennan learns a sign the first time you show it to him! He would have a massive vocabulary if we taught it to him! Sometimes he makes up signs, and then it's impossible to guess what he's really saying. But he'll say/sign it over and over until we correctly guess what he is saying, and he gets frustrated if we don't understand. It happens frequently because Brennan likes us to say whatever word is currently on his mind - so, for example, if he sees a puppy he'll say "puppy" until we say it back. The other day he was trying to get me to say "stinky" but it sounded like "keekee" so I had no idea what he was saying for awhile!

Charlie's vocabulary is growing too! He started calling me "mama" again, and now he says it when he actually wants me! He now signs: Brennan, car, more, eat, milk, water, daddy, mommy, grandma, grandpa, hat, fish, and ball. He learns them pretty quickly, but I forget to reinforce them, so he looses signs here and there until I notice and reteach him. Charlie's getting stronger physically too - he's standing! With a lot of assistance, but hey, it's a long way from April when he wouldn't even put his feet on the ground! We have a couch that's just the right size for Charlie to lean over so he can stand without us holding on. His legs are getting so strong. I can't wait for surgery to get over with - I know he's going to grow so fast!

Charlie is Four!

Charlie turned four! I have a four year old! Weird! It was his golden birthday, and we were celebrating his 1st, 2nd, and 3rd birthdays too. We had a big party at our house. Charlie had a great time opening all of his presents! He actually seemed to enjoy all the attention too. Brennan was a little overwhelmed at times and hid in the playroom. He enjoyed all the goodies around though. :) He also had fun helping Charlie open all of his presents! We found out the boys LOVE balloons. And Charlie is actually really good at playing catch with balloons - it's pretty neat.

In other news - we have a surgery date! August 30th at 1pm. It's less than 3 weeks away. I cannot wait to get it over with! Charlie's heart failure symptoms have increased a little - not terribly, but having a kid in heart failure changes the way you go about your day. and sometimes the poor kid is just SO tired. I am trying not to be too nervous about the surgery, so I am focusing on how great it will be when it's over!
We still don't know why Charlie has been having so many fevers. He's had tons and tons of labs, but everything comes back normal. Which is great, but also aggravating, because we can't do anything to fix it. So far the plan is to go ahead with surgery. For the next three weeks, I will be an anti-germ maniac! Charlie CANNOT get sick, because I do not want to postpone surgery! So back off, germs!

My cute kids - with PICTURES!

 Charlie and Brennan and chalk

 Isn't he just too cute??

Alina and Charlie grew up in the same orphanage, and now they live less than an hour apart! Alina came to visit with her awesome mom. She brought her brothers too, which Brennan thought was way cool!

 They both love sand...

...and water!

My boys are just so stinkin' cute, aren't they! They hear that from me a ridiculous amount of times every day. If they were any cuter, I don't think I'd be able to look at them directly.

Brennan had a mini-word explosion and I love hearing things in his little voice! He's still picking up words pretty quickly. His newest is "boat", which is SUPER cute. He talks and babbles all. the. time. We try to get him talking on video, but as soon as we take out our cameras or phones, he goes silent! He says whatever is on his mind, which is usually "Cracker". Today it was, "Cack-er. Cack-er. Aw, cack-er! Oh, cack-er." He cracks me up! We also hear "Mommy!" and "Daddy!" constantly. If one of us leaves the room, Brennan calls for us at the top of his lungs! I love it. Or he'll just be walking around, see me, and start, "Mommy! Mommy. Mommy!" Brennan also says "fast" and "wait" - can you tell what he hears every day? ;)

Charlie is more or less stable. His last fever was a week and a half ago and lasted five days. The last two mornings he's had fevers in the morning, which usually turns into a full-blown fever. I'm actually hoping he does have a fever on Wednesday, because we'll be doing labs and we need "sick" labs from him. Although, this time he actually has cold symptoms, so if he's just got a cold, it might skew the labs we really need. Poor kid needs labs from a few different specialties, because we can never get enough in one draw. And half the time we DO get enough, the sample itself is worthless because it's clotted or hemolyzed(squished). Charlie has horrible veins - there's only two that have really been successful, and one of those usually disappears when they get the needle in. It's horrible to watch, but the last two times he's been so distracted by toys or bubbles that he didn't even cry! Anyway, after we get the labs done we *may* know more about when he can have heart surgery. I would really like to get it scheduled so it can stop looming over our lives. I did hear from cardiology last week - they didn't have anything new to say, just waiting to consult with other specialties - but the doctor did indicate that it was good I had called, to "keep the ball rolling." So, what, if I hadn't called, would you have DROPPED the ball? That makes me REAL confident in you. Come on. That's a three year old ball named Charlie, and he doesn't like being dropped!

Eating is once again a struggle for Charlie. I think he just doesn't have the energy. I'm pretty sure his pressures got higher after they closed his PDA, because he's seemed to have much less stamina. Charlie used to chug 36 oz a day and was gaining weight like crazy! Now we have to force him just to get 22 oz in. We've learned a few tricks that make it easier to get it in, otherwise he'd be eating closer to 15-18. For an entire day! He is supposed to get a minimum of 28 oz per day. I've almost entirely cut out spoon-feeding, which I think will be bad in the long run, but it doesn't get him the calories he needs, and then he's too full to drink enough milk. Unless anyone has any ideas on how to make a 1/4 cup of mashed potatoes with 120 calories, we've given up on that for now. If he's having a good day and is making his minimum, then I'll feed him as a "treat" - which of course, to him, isn't a treat at all. Lol. I have been feeding him all sorts of tidbits - bread, fruit, crackers - with mixed results. We found out he LOVES the cream part of creamy wild rice soup. Scrambled eggs went over pretty well too! 

Last week we went one an awesome vacation with my family! For the past two summers, my mom has been too sick from chemo/radiation to celebrate her birthday. So this year, we went on a family trip to our special spot, Duluth! Our family loves Duluth. My parents honeymooned there, Ken and I got married there, and my sister and her husband got engaged there. I was so excited to show it to my boys! We brought them to the beach to play in the waves, and they loved it! Brennan played in the waves with his uncle, and Charlie sat further up on shore. Occasionally a wave would come up and knock him over, so we stayed really close! Both the boys love being in the water. I call them my little fish. We finally had to drag them away when Brennan was shivering so badly he could hardly talk. We had a great few days with my family and introducing the boys to a bunch of new things!

Medical update on Charlie

There isn't much of an update - we still don't have a plan of action for Charlie. Everything is hurry up and get this appointment, wait for everyone to consult with each other, then decide we still don't have any definite answers, so maybe he should see this OTHER specialist as well. We've gotten NO where. This past week we saw pulmonology, infectious diseases, had a sleep study, PT/OT, ST/PT, and had an ER visit. All in three days. What we got from that? ...we need more labs done. We do have a lead, of some sort - his fevers *may* be from TB that is in his bladder/kidneys, instead of his lungs. Maybe. The good news is if it IS the TB, he can probably go ahead with heart surgery. So that's the gist of what's going on. I'll go into more detail below, but you can stop reading here if that's all you wanted to know. :)

To make this as simple as possible, I'll go in the order that he had his appointments.

Sleep Study: Charlie does NOT have sleep apnea. He did have about 10 apnea episodes, but does not qualify for a diagnosis. So, yay. But, his other breathing issues at night are still concerning. At night, Charlie's sats stay lower (91-92% - he is "allowed" to go to 88%) and his carbon dioxide is slightly higher. He's working harder to breathe and not doing it as well. In any other kid, the doctor would have started O2 at night. But since Charlie is supposed to have his heart fixed soon, we're holding off to see if that fixes the problem. Once again, Charlie's numbers were in that iffy wiggle room grey area, so it's not urgent that we do anything, but we certainly need to keep an eye on it and follow up.

Pulmonology: Not many answers here. We had a consult because some of the results from Charlie's heart cath could have indicated something more going on with his lungs that was worth checking out before surgery. The doctor thinks it is most likely due to the pulmonary hypertension. He was more pessimistic about Charlie's surgery, but he didn't have the full cath report in front of him. He was going to consult with the cardiologist and tentatively cleared him.

Infectious diseases: I liked this guy. He actually had some ideas about Charlie's fevers and was more in my line of thinking - test the heck out of Charlie and see if anything shows up. If nothing shows up, then there's nothing holding him back from heart surgery. He ran a bunch of labs, which didn't take into account Charlie's poor history of actually giving us all the samples we need. So we still don't have the answers - we need more labs done. And he's also going to consult with the cardiologist (hello, care conference anyone??). But as a result of those labs, we ended up with a ...

ER visit: So, when they drew Charlie's labs, they included a platelet count. This is supposed to be 100-400. Charlie's came back as 6. His pediatrician called and told us to head to the ER for a recheck. She thought he might have leukemia. It didn't really make sense for his platelets to be 6, because he wasn't pale, had zero bruises, and he didn't bleed all over when they drew labs. In fact, there was a large clot in the tube in the original draw! But we went in anyway, and they drew a ton of labs, which all came back...normal. But hey, Charlie got to visit all his ER friends, who he's getting to know so well! When we go to the hospital, staff who've had Charlie before stop by to say hi because he's just that cute!

So that was the beginning of our week. The rest of the week was a little better, although Charlie has had a fever since Thursday. The docs want "sick" labs from Charlie, but I haven't been able to get him in. I'll call again in the AM, but I think his fever will be gone by then. I hope it is anyway, because in two days we are going on vacation! I am really looking forward to leaving all of this behind for a few days and celebrating one of my favorite people - my Mom! 

My Peanut and Punkin

Charlie has been earning more frequent flier miles at the hospital. They should really start a program, and give parents parking discounts after a certain number of hospital visits!

Charlie is home now, and he's fine. This past weekend, he had a fever, and on Monday night it spiked to 103.4. I was hoping to wait til morning to bring him in, but around 10pm I ended up taking him to the ER. With his fever so high, he wasn't going to sleep anyway, so there was no point in waiting. In the ER they gave him some ibuprofen, and then admitted him for fluids (he was dehydrated) and observation. By the time we got up to his room (4am), his temp was 98.4! That little stinker. I got about 30 mins of sleep that night. In the morning he still didn't have a fever, so I thought we'd go home. But during rounds they decided that since he still hadn't started his sildenafil, they would start it in the hospital because 1) it's easier to get insurance to cover it and 2) the medicine will put him into congestive heart failure, and the hospital doctor thought it would be best to watch him when we started the med. I was a little surprised, since his primary cardiologist - the expert in PH and the one who actually did the cath - thought he should start it now. Charlie had an echo done at the hospital, which didn't show anything new, but something about it made the cardio change his mind about starting Charlie on the sildenafil. He said it would make him very sick and he should only have it a week before surgery. So...we came home today, after a 2-day hospital stay that ended up being the most expensive dose of ibuprofen ever.

I will be calling Charlie's cardiologist in the morning to check in with her about the sildenafil. We still don't have a surgery date - I don't know which person is dropping the ball on that one. Charlie has a follow-up at his ped's office tomorrow. He's been having repeated fevers for several weeks, and no one knows why. So it's another thing to look into. ...yaaaay.

The GOOD news...my boys are awesome! Charlie is growing bigger and stronger every day. He's picking up signs too! Also, he likes to roar. It sounds a little like a newborn lion. :) Brennan finally started really talking. He said his first word when he was only 8 months old, and said a few words here and there. But he wasn't REALLY talking until the last few weeks. It started a few months ago, when he started saying "more" and "uh-oh" all the time. Now he's saying new words every day! It's adorable. He says some out of the blue, like when he ran across the room, picked up my keys, said "Keeeeey" and then tried to leave! Brennan likes to practice words over and over again, and he's pretty pleased with himself when he pronounces a word correctly for the first time. He still uses sign, and his vocabulary is growing. He'd learn a lot more if we taught it to him better! We need to do a better job at that, especially for Charlie. Brennan has picked up a few signs from watching Signing Time, and he gets all puffed up when he learns a new one. A recent one was "bear". He loves his teddy bears! He has a favorite that he sometimes pushes in Charlie's swing. He also makes this bear bounce bounce bounce by holding the top of it's head and bouncing! It's super cute. Brennan also puts the bear on his bouncy turtle and bounces his own little bottom up and down. He cracks me up everyday. :)

Quick Cardiac Update

Charlie had his cardiac cath last Thursday. He was in surgery for three hours, and then had to lie flat in recovery for four hours. Tied to a board. He was not a fan. Also, he's not allowed to have fentanyl anymore. As his nurse put it, he doesn't like breathing after he gets fentanyl! But by the time I took him home, he was his usual self, happy as can be!

The initial results from the cath are good. The surgeons decided that Charlie can have surgery to close his VSD! Yay! They closed his PDA while they were in there, and he's doing well with that. His pressures were very high, like we suspected (I don't have the exact numbers yet). He'll be on a new med now...Viagra! If we can ever actually GET the med - apparently, it's not common AND it's so expensive, that our insurance has to pre-authorize it.

Tomorrow morning, the cardiac team will be discussing Charlie's case. On Wednesday his doctor should call me and let me know what they decided. They may decide to let him have surgery soon, or they may decide to leave him on the sildenifil (Viagra) for a few months first, and see if that lowers the pressure in his lungs. They'll also discuss whether or not to treat him with O2 or nitric oxide, but I don't think it's likely. While Charlie was in surgery, they gave him both, and he appeared to do slightly better. I don't think "slightly better" is enough to put him on O2, since it can actually make his pulmonary edema to get worse. It's been worse lately, anyway, and he's up to three times a day for Lasix. I can tell he's doing better on this dose. Putting him O2 would cause more fluid in his lungs, which would need more lasix to remove it. Not a good cycle!

Because of one of the test results from the cath, Charlie needs to have a pulmonary consult and possibly a CT scan of his chest. It could mean something else is going on with his lungs, or it could just be an effect from the high pressures in his lungs for the last three years. So he has a consult on the 12th, with his sleep study the night before. Just another part of his Borderline Syndrome. :) 

But I am Le Tired.

Remember when you were young and stupid inexperienced and you thought to yourself, "My kids will always be well-behaved in public" or "My child will promptly wean at 12 months with no problems" and you believed it? Well, mine was always "My kids will never be early risers. They will be good sleepers and we'll snuggle on weekend mornings." I mean, any kid related to me would NEVER voluntarily wake up before 8AM, right??

Yeah.

Charlie did not get that memo. He seems to enjoy waking up at the buttcrack of dawn (don't name your daughter Dawn, it's just cruel). For awhile, he had Brennan up at 6AM too, and that was awful. So we moved Charlie down to the basement, and within a few days B was back to sleeping in until 7:30. (HA! Never thought I would count 7:30 as sleeping in!) I'm getting slightly more sleep in the AM now, but I really. really wish I could sleep til 7:30 or even 8! For now I've resorted to napping some afternoons. On the days where I don't (like today, inwhich I was occupied with the Great Ant Battle of the Kitchen Sink) then by 8pm I am reduced to an incoherent blob on the couch. Watching Bones. With popcorn. So, Not much in my life is getting done. Although, it is getting better, and my house is cleaner, and I can keep my act together until 9pm most of the time. And unless "snuggling" could also mean "jump on Mama and Daddy", that's not happening either.

But I really need sleep.

In other news. I need to start keeping track of "Things I Thought I'd Never Say, and Then I Became a Parent."
Here are the first few entries:
"Don't feed the cat Cheerios!"
"Don't steamroller your brother!"
"Brennan, that's a brush-teeth, not a brush-wall, brush-fan, or brush-toe. Just your TEETH."
(Yes, we do call a toothbrush a brush-teeth. Get over it.)
"Brennan, you can't take Charlie's eye temperature. Give me that thermometer."
Can't wait to add more!

Conversations with a One-year-old

Brennan: "More?"
Mama: "More what?"
Brennan: "More?"
Mama: "More what?"
Brennan: "More?"
Mama: "Look, Brennan, you can't just say 'more'. You have to tell me what you want more OF. You have to be specific or else I can't help you. I don't know what you want."
Brennan: "....more?"

Borderline syndrome

Charlie has been home for 6.5 weeks! In that time he's gained almost SIX pounds. He's getting fat! His thighs are starting to jiggle! He looks much different than the 16 lb sickly child we brought home. He's so full of life! And so darn cute.

Charlie has Borderline Syndrome*. This occurs when a person has several issues that can be described as borderline - symptoms that don't offer a certain diagnosis, but need further testing to "rule out" an issue or "just to make sure". You also may often hear "wait and see".  Charlie has already had several f these issues, and luckily so far all further testing has ruled out problems! We've got two rule-outs left: a sleep study and a sedated ABR (hearing test). Charlie failed one of his hearing screens today, which *may* indicate a mild hearing loss. Really, it's not a big issue because he can hear quite well. He can hear his dad whisper his name from a few feet behind him. So even if Charlie does have a mild hearing loss, so although it's a possibility he'd need hearing aids, it's not likely. But he'd sure be cute if he did need them. :) We won't do the hearing test until after his heart cath and sleep study. The ENT wants the cardiologist to clear him for anesthesia first, and if Charlie does have obstructive sleep apnea, then his tonsils would have to come out too. BUT, I think Charlie will just be adding all of this to his "ruled-out" list! He's so much stronger than he was 6 weeks ago, and I'm really not seeing the same sleep apnea symptoms that I did when we first got him. Of course, when I checked on him last night, he wasn't breathing. Yeah...there is that. Charlie is just a man of IFs.

June is looking much more relaxed than May. We only have a pre-op appointment and his heart cath scheduled. I also have to find a dentist for him, and get him started in therapy! I've been so wishy-washy on picking a private therapist. I don't know which one is the BEST. He'll be getting therapy through the school district, but that won't start til fall. And I am not looking forward to sending Charlie to preschool in his current state! He's Tuff, but oh so fragile and tiny. Ack. I'm going to have a preschooler! That's too much for my little brain. I'd better just go to bed now.



*Borderline Syndrome is made up.
Because I know there's 1 or 2 of you that wouldn't catch that. :)

Grow Charlie grow!

Charlie is doing fantastic! I knew within days of meeting him that he would really take off once we got him home. And he did. He's up to 20 lbs!! His spine isn't creepy anymore, and his ribs have filled in. He looks great. He's eating well, as you can see! He's doing much better with being spoon-fed. It's definitely not his favorite, but he's not fighting it as much anymore. And we discovered Charlie LOVES mashed potatoes! He also seems to like lemon-flavored things, which I find odd! Charlie claps when we say "yay" or "good job". He can hold his own bottle sometimes, and he signs "eat" and "milk"! He's my superhero. :) He had his VCUG today, and he does not have urinary reflux, even though he did have an abnormal ultrasound. I'm not sure if that was related to the infection, or what. But it does mean we can take him off the antibiotic, so we're down to only 4 meds! One thing I've learned: only listen to the doctors who specialize in whatever they are talking about! For example, the cardiologist heard the results of Charlie's ultrasound and said "Whoa! You only see that with something like Grade 4 reflux! Whoa!" Actual Kidney Specialist: "It might be reflux, it might not. We'll test and find out. Not a big deal." So, parents, don't freak out unless the doc knows what they are talking about. :) I went through something similar with Brennan. I wish everyone would be on the same page!

Brennan is SO over Charlie. He likes him well enough, but he thinks it's time for Charlie to go back where he came from! He's being intentionally rough with Charlie, but then he'll turn around and bring him a toy. We've started a "No Touch" rule between the two of them, because you never know when a gentle pet will turn into a pinch. Today Brennan was giving Charlie kisses, so I think there's hope. Even though he DID throw a toy at Charlie's head. Multiple times. It doesn't help that I almost never have one-on-one time with Brennan. Hopefully we'll be able to start fitting some of that in!

Brennan is picking up signs as soon as you teach them to him! His new favorite is "apple". The only reason he doesn't know more signs is because we aren't teaching them to him! He's starting to talk more, too. Ee-oh for elmo, Go-gee for going (outside), Mama (!!!), Wampa (grandpa), Sa-ee (Sadie), etc. He repeats more too. I'm going to really miss Brennan-ese, though! It is so stinkin' adorable. He talks ALL the time, babbling away, with inflection, chuckles, and gestures. My favorite is when he tells funny stories! He really appreciates when you respond appropriately. Oh, he's so cute. I have adorable kids. :)

Back to Life

So...this time I was away for awhile on purpose. There was too much stress going around. After Charlie came home from the hospital (he ended up staying 8 days) I let all the stress hit me so I could work it out of my system at a "safe" time (i.e. when everyone was happy and healthy!). But life has returned to normal. Our new normal, anyway!

Charlie is doing very well. He is up to 19 lbs already! This kid does not have a problem growing. :) He thinks he is hungry ALL of the time. I think once he gets used to having enough food around he'll stop freaking out when he sees his Pediasure! Note: do NOT let Charlie see the Pedisure in the cart at the store!! Charlie really seems to be enjoying family life! He still likes his brother, although he will cry if Brennan is too close for too long (Brennan is a bit clumsy!). And Charlie learned to clap when we say "Yay" or "Good job"! It is so adorable! We were teaching him to hold his own bottle, but that went out the window because he keeps dropping it to clap for himself! His smile is amazing. And his little giggle!

Charlie has a few more specialists coming up this month: cardiology, sleep consult, and ENT, as well as a VCUG. I'm anxious for the cardiologist appt because we should be getting a plan for his heart catheterization then. We really don't know what treatments we will do for Charlie, or if/when he can have surgery, until the cath is done. In fact, they won't treat him - besides the lasix - until the cath, because they want to see what he is really like. So I really want to get that done! He already had a swallow study this month, and did fine. So that's one less thing to worry about!

Brennan is doing so well with Charlie! It's amazing. Before, he didn't like me holding other kids, or other kids playing with his toys. But he is so sweet to Charlie! Brennan will bring Charlie his toys and wants Charlie to play in the ball pit with him. He gets upset if he thinks we are leaving the house without Charlie (it's really cute!), and once when Charlie was upset, he brought Charlie's bottle over and stuck it in his mouth! Brennan will get too rough with Charlie, but he just doesn't understand how strong he is and that Charlie might have feelings too! For example, Charlie might not WANT the ball Brennan is shoving in his face! (Ok, my parents have this small dog that Brennan adores. He likes to play with the dog, which usually involves Brennan putting the toys right in/on the dog's face. Sometimes, he throws the dog's balls at her. This is how Brennan thinks he should play with Charlie, too!) It's very sweet to see the two of them together. Brennan seems to just know that Charlie is "his" and that he needs our special attention. And Charlie is delighted to have someone his size to watch! They are already best friends for life!

Charlie's Hospital Stay

So, our overnight hospital stay turned into a week-long stay! We were admitted Monday, and hopefully we will go home this coming Monday or Tuesday. Charlie has e. coli positive pyelonephritis. That means that he has a urinary tract infection that's assumed to have moved to his kidneys, and his urine culture grew e. coli. This particular strain of e. coli makes the infectious diseases doctors swoon, according to one of Charlie's docs! It's a resistant strain, so the antibiotics Charlie was on initially didn't work. He's now on other IV antibiotics that seem to be working. Charlie had a fever up until yesterday. We've finally made it 24 hours fever-free! I think the plan is to switch him over to the oral antibiotics and make sure he stays fever-free, and then he will be released. That's assuming that he starts eating much better before we go, though. Right now he's only taking about 50% of what he needs orally. He was switched over to Boost, which has more calories than Pediasure and Nutren, so he can drink less but still get the calories and protein that he needs. However, he still won't get enough fluids in if he's not drinking enough, so he may need an NG tube. His fluid balance is important, because he needs enough to stay hydrated, but not too much because he has congestive heart failure, which means fluid builds up in his lungs. He's on Lasix to prevent this fluid uild up, but we can't give him more fluid than the Lasix can handle. We'll see if he perks up enough this weekend to take all of his feeds orally, otherwise he may need an NG tube. His cardiologist thinks a g-tube may be in his future, but I think once he gets a little stronger, he'll start eating a lot more. He seems better today, so hopefully we'll know soon what direction we're going to take.

Charlie's cardiologist compared Charlie to a Russian nesting doll - he's full of surprises! He has a list of diagnoses longer than he is! He's an alphabet soup: DS, PDA, VSD, PH, FTT, and suspected OSA and VUR. Poor kid. While we've been here, he's been seen or followed by cardiology, nephrology, infectious diseases, nutrition, the International Adoption Clinic, and genetics. May is already full of appointments for Charlie! We'll bust through this all and have a great summer showing Charlie what it means to be in a family and have fun!

Looong update - Written Monday 4/25

Once again…sorry for disappearing. J The worst part about not updating very often is that there’s so much more to update! SO this will probably be a very rambly post! I’m writing this from Charlie’s hospital room, and I’ll post it when I find some Internet. Since there’s so much to update, I’ll try and divide this post into categories.

Currently: My poor little guy has already had two ER visits, and this one ended in a hospital stay. He’s ok, but he has an infection of some sort and they’re keeping him for observation. Which I am happy about – which is odd, but he’s so sick that I’m really not comfortable bringing him home until we get some answers. Last Friday evening, we noticed Charlie was having a harder time breathing. I brought him to the ER and we spent the whole night there. Charlie’s cardiologist had taken him off all of his meds, but Charlie still needed one of them – Lasix. So, they gave him some in his IV and kept him long enough to make sure he got better. But he still had trouble breathing all weekend and by Sunday I knew we had a sick kid on our hands. I prayed he’d be fine throughout the night because I REALLY needed the rest before another ER visit! On Monday morning (today) he quickly deteriorated and had a fever, so it was off to the ER! So far, we haven’t pinpointed an infection, but we’re still waiting for the blood cultures. One doctor thinks it’s pneumonia, even though his chest xray is clear and he really doesn’t have any pneumonia symptoms, besides a high fever. Right now Charlie is on antibiotics, and they’ve increased his Lasix. His oxygen sats are in the 80’s (they should be above 95) so occasionally he gets a little oxygen. Right now he is sleeping, and his sats are always lower when he’s sleeping, so his alarm is going off every 30 seconds. Luckily, I learned from Brennan’s hospital stay, and I don’t jump up every time the alarm goes off. I know when to be concerned and when not to be! Hopefully we’ll be able to go home tomorrow with some antibiotics, but I’m hoping we get a definitive diagnosis unless he’s suddenly doing much better. We may also be able to get his  swallow study done while we are here too, it just depends on if they are busy and if we’re here long enough. Otherwise, he has one scheduled for May 12^th, but it would be nice to get it done now. I think he may be aspirating when he drinks, especially when he’s tired. The swallow study will show us what’s going on when he eats, and we may have him drink thickened fluids if he is aspirating. At some point, we’ll need to get a sleep study done too! I’m pretty sure he has sleep apnea, and that can make pulmonary hypertension worse, so we’ll need to take care of that.

Earlier: Charlie had his cardiologist appointment one week ago. He had an echo done, which showed he had a PDA and a “huge” VSD. The VSD is what is causing the pulmonary hypertension, which is thought to be a very high. The plan is to do a heart catheterization, which will tell us more about what is going on in his heart and lungs. From there, we’ll start treating the PH and get it down to a degree where he can safely have surgery to close the VSD. He may have the PDA closed during the cath procedure, but they may need to leave it open until his open heart surgery.  We have the best doctors for him – the head of the heart cath team (or whatever) will be doing the cath alongside the expert in PH. Then, the PH doctor will be Charlie’s doctor. We’re at one of the Top 10 hospitals in the US, and one of the best for hearts. So Charlie is in good hands!

Before that: Charlie and Brennan have been getting along great! I was a little worried, because Brennan would get jealous every time I was holding another kid. But he has been very gentle and sweet. When they first met, we showed Brennan “gentle” by having him gently pat Charlie’s tummy. It helps that we do this with the cat all the time, so B is familiar with “gentle”. Ever since then B has been gentle! He seems to intuitively understand that Charlie needs to be treated that way, and he’ll bring Charlie his toys when he drops them and he talks to him in a sweet little voice. It’s super cute. He’s getting over the novelty of Charlie at this point, and mostly ignores him. He does NOT approve of Charlie wearing his slippers, so we’ll have to get Charlie his own slippers! It’s been interesting adjusting to two toddlers in the house. Brennan is forced to be a little more independent – which we started practicing before Charlie came home. He’s now a pro at backing up over the bottom of the gate and zooming down the stairs, and he’s getting good at walking next to me holding my hand while I carry Charlie (although I can carry both of them when I’m wearing Charlie!). The hardest part is feeding them both breakfast at the same time! Brennan always wants what someone else has, no matter what it is, so he thinks Charlie MUST be getting something better than him. There may have been one or two times where I accidentally fed one kid the other kid’s food in an early morning stupor…but I’m not telling! I did take them both to Target, just to see if I could. I can.

Brennan: He is really turning into a little boy. It’s adorable, but sad. No more Baby B! He is all boy. He learned the sign for bug the first time I showed it to him, and he’s happiest playing outside and digging in the dirt. When I take him outside, he spends the whole time trying to run into the neighbor’s yard. But he really loves playing outside at the grandparents’ houses. He’d spend all day outside if he could! He knows around 25 signs and would know a lot more if I taught him J. Sometimes he signs along with Signing Times. Brennan’s been ‘helpful’ lately. For example, if I am folding laundry he’ll come over and ‘help’ by shaking out the clothes and smooshing(folding) them. Usually he ends up running around with a shirt and messing up my piles! Lately Brennan has been spitting out his milk, and when he does I had him a towel and he wipes it up himself! And if he ever finds a Kleenex or napkin, he blows his nose and then throws it away! He’s just the cutest one year old I have ever seen!  

Guess who's sleeping in my house?

It's Charlie!
We got home on Thursday around midnight. He's been doing very well! We didn't have Internet overseas, so I couldn't update, and I've been too tired and busy since then. Adjusting to two kids is interesting! Especially when they have different sleep schedules! I'm working on changing Charlie's schedule to be more in line with Brennan's, to a schedule that does NOT involve waking up at 6AM! I will never get used to waking up at 6AM. Let's just not even try. This morning he slept in to close to 7, so there's hope!

Charlie is adjusting well to family life. He knows I'm his mama, and he gets so excited and puts his arms up when he sees me! He seems to like his brother and laughs at him, but he's indifferent most of the time. He's used to all sorts of little kids running around and he doesn't have a real connection with Brennan yet. Brennan, however, is doing amazing with having a brother! He's very sweet and gentle, and brings Charlie toys. He doesn't seem to be jealous or upset, although he does "claim" us sometimes by running over and hugging us or laying his head in our lap. It's so crazy to see them together. Brennan is 1.5 and Charlie is 3.5, but Brennan is HUGE compared to Charlie. They are the same length (31 inches) but B is almost 26 lbs and C is only 16 lbs. He is very tiny. Brennan has a little pot belly and thunder thighs, and Charlie has noodle legs and you can count his ribs. People are shocked when they find out the age difference.

Charlie has already been to the pediatrician, and he has a cardiology appointment tomorrow morning. I am actually looking forward to the cardio appt, because hopefully a lot of questions will be answered. He'll have an echo done, and we should find out exactly what is going on with his heart and what we will do about it. We were told he was an ASD and a high degree of pulmonary hypertension. Which may be true, but medical records from this country are not known to be reliable. Also, he may have a second defect - it was mentioned by one person, but it's not in his records, which really doesn't mean much. But hopefully, after tomorrow, I'll be able to say something besides "I don't know" when people ask questions about his heart! People are already asking me when he'll have surgery, and he's only been home for three days! I hope to learn a lot tomorrow.
Next up I need to make appointments for ENT, the Adoption Clinic, the opthamologist, and the nutritionist. I strongly suspect Charlie needs his tonsils and adenoids out, and that he has sleep apnea (likely due to his tonsils). Then we need to initiate services through the school district. The poor kid - we've got a lot to get through in the next few months! Luckily, his teeth are in great shape, so I'm holding off on the dentist for just a little bit. Charlie can be a little orally defensive, and it's just not something we need to push at the moment! We've got a lot of work ahead of us. I'm just so glad he's HERE!

We're home!

We are now the proud parents of Charles Gabriel Andreev Meyer!
Court went well, and our facilitator will pick up the court decree on April 8th! My sister and I will be traveling back to Charlie's country in 10 days and we will bust Charlie out of the orphanage forever on April 11th. After two very long days of travel, I am not really looking froward to doing it again. But I will anyway :).
We got home at about 1:30 last night and we picked up Brennan this morning! He has been a very happy boy today! He has a permanent grin on his face. I'm so happy to have my little sidekick back!
I'll write more details later, and put up pics, but right now I'm pretty wiped out, so you will have to wait. :)

Court Tomorrow!

We have court on Tuesday afternoon! Then, if everything goes as planned, we will take a train that night to Capitol City. We'll arrive in the morning, Ken will sign some papers at the embassy, and then we'll head to the airport! This trip, we have layovers in France and in Atlanta, Georgia. I'm going to be a world traveler after this is over, just due to layovers. :) Thursday morning we will finally get to see Brennan again! I cannot wait to see him. We Skype with him almost everyday, and he's just so stinkin' cute I want to crawl through the computer and hug him. We'll be home SOON!

For those who have asked, my other website is www.foundatrainbowsend.blogspot.com. It's private and you will need an invite. :)

We met Charlie!

For those of you who may not have made it over to our other blog...We met Charlie on Friday! He is adorable, sweet, tiny, and curious. He's slowly getting used to us and today seemed happy to see us. He likes to touch everything!
We will be in-region until we have court. We don't know when this will be yet, but probably around the 28th-29th. In the meantime, we will be visiting Charlie and enjoying our time in a foreign country!

We're here! Pictures!

We made it in late last night. We spent nearly 30 hours travelling! Our driver took us to a grocery store on the way to our apartment and helped us pick out food. He's a great guy!
Here are some specific prayer requests:

- Safe, smooth travelling
- A quick, smooth adoption process - no snags or paperwork issues!
- That we have court on or before Friday, the 25th. This is entirely possible, but not guaranteed. It's really important for the timeline we want - one that will best allow my sister to accompany me back to Ukraine, AND allow me to be with Charlie on his birthday!
- That the 10-day wait will be waived. This is NOT at all likely, and is almost impossible. But, I figured I can always ask God - won't get it if I don't ask. :)

Munich Airport - we spent 10 hours there and it was empty most of the day!

Our Bedroom

View from our porch

Chocolate!

From now on, most of our detailed updates and pictures will be on our private blog. I will still update here, just not as detailed/not as many pics. If you want an invite, leave a comment with your email address! I won't publish comments with your email to protect your privacy.  

Just a few days!

We have three whole days left before we leave. Just writing that makes me panic a little! Things are getting done very slowly. It's hard to pack my suitcase when there's a little munchkin sitting in it and throwing everything back out! Lol. Today I sent him to my mom's so I could get a few things done, like SHOPPING. My house is a mess because I haven't had the energy to clean it, and Ken has been working long, odd hours - like going to work at 3am and not coming home til dinnertime. Or coming home at 2pm and going back at 4:30, not seen again til 1:30AM! Yikes. Then, I am having pump issues (like blood in my tubing - what the heck??) and asthma issues (which had disappeared but decided that NOW was a good time to flare up!). And Brennan deserves an honorable mention for getting two new teeth! So, we are worn out. It's really hard to believe that we're leaving in a few days - I don't know if we'll make it! Luckily, my awesome family lives nearby and they are helping us out!

Oh, Brennan. He is truly the light of my life. It's so cliche. I know. Is it cliche to say it's cliche? But he really is. It's going to be hard to leave him. He's very clingy to me, and lately it's been getting worse! I know that he'll be fine, and it's for a short time. It's just hard to leave one baby to go get the other!
Brennan is just probably the cutest thing I have ever seen. I love the little stories he tells - in Brennan-ese, of course! I love his big smile, his goofy smile, his flirtatious smile, and his "Whoa - can I really do that?" smile. I love how he backs up to us to read a story, because he wants to sit in our lap. I love how he likes wearing his shoes, just because. I love how he snuggles, and how he hugs his teddy bear. I love how excited he gets when he sees our cat or the neighbor's dogs. I love watching him run! I love his belly laugh, and the way he says "boo". I love how he says boo to the cat, and how he gets so excited for bathtime that he can't stand still. I love how he'll climb into a basket and lounge for a minute, then climb back out and in again! He's so precious. And I'm going to miss my sidekick.

Brennan signs 23 signs now. Yesterday morning, I was sending an email (bad mommy) and Brennan was in the ball pit. I noticed his mouth was full of something - too full to be a cheerio. I said, "What is in your mouth? What are you eating?" Brennan got a HUGE smile on his face and signed "cracker"! Then he ran into the kitchen and showed me where he got the cracker from! I laughed so hard. It was pretty neat to me that he understood what I was saying, and could correctly answer me using sign. And he was just so darn pleased with himself! It cracked me up for the rest of the day. Brennan's been making other connections like that - like when I accidentally parked the grocery cart next to the cheerios, and he signed cheerios aaaaaaall the way down the aisle! Or when we were in the shoe section, and he looked around and signed shoes! He's still not really talking, which is fine at his age, but yesterday he started saying "boo"! He was hiding from me and saying "ba" until I realized he was trying to say "boo"! Then we had to play "boo" all day! Lol. Sometimes I find him standing against the wall around a corner - he's pretty good at this game! He's making more sounds too - like "vroom" when he sees or hears a car outside, instead of just for his toy cars. I love hearing his new words/sounds but I am going to miss the Brennan-ese when he learns to talk! Sometimes he tells this little story and then he laughs at the end - I think he's telling us a joke! See how I'd have a hard time leaving him? ;)

We leave in 12 days!

We got our travel date! We were told yesterday that our SDA appt was on the 18th. I was okay with that, but disappointed it was on a Friday (that means we'd have to wait until Monday to pick up our referral and wouldn't meet Charlie until Tuesday). This morning we found out that our appointment is actually the 16th! So we will be leaving on the 13th, which is so close! I have a week and a half to get ready! There's so much to do! I am so excited. In just a couple of weeks we'll finally be holding our little boy! Who is REAL, by the way. Ok, he's been real the whole time - but now that we actually have a date that we are going to meet him - Wow! It's actually happening! We've been looking at his little face for months and we're finally going to get to hold him! Luckily, time is flying by!

Nesting

An entire week has gone by since we were submitted. That means we're a week closer to Charlie! We could be travelling in three weeks! Also, !!!!. The families submitted the week before us got their dates yesterday. One of them got the date I really want! Maybe we'll get the same day. :) It's more likely we'll get a date later in March, my guess is between the 15th and the 26th. Those are just random guesses, really, because when it comes to Charlie's country, you just never know. We're always told it's a "moving target" and there's no real rhyme or reason to when people get their dates! I really want the 8th or 9th, and I'm praying hard for it, even though it is very unlikely! I've counted out days in many different ways, and if we get the 8th or 9th, we MIGHT have him home on or before his birthday. Again, this is HIGHLY unlikely, but it's not entirely impossible, so I am holding out hope! Either way, Charlie will never be an orphan on his birthday again. He's got a mama who think birthday boys are a very big deal!

As we get closer to Charlie, I've started nesting. Last night I was cleaning the garage at 11pm! I've got his clothes hanging in the closet, his bed set up in our room. It's really fun, because I never got to the nesting stage with Brennan, since he was so early. Well - I started to, but I was having contractions so often that I couldn't do much anyway. I've got a car seat waiting to go in the car, a double stoller, toys set aside to take with us on the trip. I even have an entire bag of donations already packed! I want to start packing my own suitcase, but I'm restraining myself! :) I'm meeting with someone tomorrow who will teach me a little of Charlie's language, and then we're almost set! It's a bit surreal to be this close. I can't wait to hold that little guy!

It's our day!

Today we were submitted! That means the countdown has begun, and we could be travelling in as little as 4 weeks! That's best case scenario, but it's what I am hoping for!

We also finally decided on a name*, so I will finally share!
It is...

Charles Gabriel! We will call him Charlie.

Also, little Masha found a family!! I am so happy!!


*Name subject to change at any given moment, and then perhaps back again, based on reason or whim.

Sorry to leave you hanging...

...but we got hit by the flu and I have been sick all week! Today is day 9 and there is no end in sight. Tomorrow Ken has to go back to work, which means that I will have Brennan all to myself! I don't know where that boy gets all of his energy from - even when he's sick, he spends most of the day running around the house yelling and destroying everything! He's lucky he's so cute, or I'd go crazy! ;) He now knows 15 signs and has a few emerging signs. There's one sign he does that we're not really sure what it means. I think it might be "cereal". It definitely means something to him, we just have no idea what! Brennan has discovered where the snack cupboard is, and I find him in there about 7 times per hour. That boy's little belly is getting rotund! :) His obsession with laundry baskets continues. In fact, it's grown to include anything he can climb into or on top of! We really need the snow to melt so we can go climb outside!

Now our adoption news...there isn't much. We should be submitted on Thursday, but there's no guarantees! Last Thursday morning I got the news that we hadn't been submitted, but I was expecting it, so I was only a little disappointed. This week *should* be our week, and we should be travelling in 5-7 weeks! I've heard legends of families travelling 3-4 weeks after submission, and I am hoping that is us! We started this process in August, so we have been waiting for quite awhile!
Another little boy in Littlekid's orphanage passed away in November, and we found out this week. He was just one year old. He had down syndrome and a heart condition, just like Littlekid. His heart wasn't fixed (like Littlekid) and he died. It makes it seem more urgent that we get to Littlekid!

I can't wait to hold my little boy!

His faithfulness in my helplessness

Background: I wrote this to the RR group, but I wanted it here too, as a reminder to myself. "Masha" is a 4 y.o. girl who is about to be transferred to a horrible institution.

I'm writing this in hopes it will minister to someone the way it did to me :).

I desperately wanted to say "yes" to Masha. You know how some kids just grab you? I knew her name in an instant. We tried. We were shot down. Our agency will not allow us to adopt two unrelated children at the same time (and I could write a whole other post about THAT). I was crushed and my helplessness overwhelmed me. Masha, Alexander, Mila, Anastasia(46) (oh my heart!), Karina (19), Shane, Chelsea... and I can't do a thing. Of course, that's not completely true. But yesterday and today the weight of my helplessness nearly did me in. I tried focusing on getting things ready for Charlie, but it didn't help. Every 7 minutes I checked to see - has a family stepped forward? I was angry. How DARE our agency think it knows what is best for my family. Do they even KNOW what an institution is? God - what are you doing??

Did you know that God has a plan? That Masha is more important to Him than she could ever be to me? Yeah. I forget sometimes. Then tonight I heard a song. I didn't catch who it was by; maybe someone here will know it. The song starts out like this:

"You magnify my helplessness
So I can see your faithfulness"

At first I thought, great, just what I need! My helplessness even more magnified!
Then, it hit me. I am helpless - God is not. God is faithful. Would I see that, do I see that, when I am "helping" myself? When I step in and say, "I've got it, God."? Sometimes, I am not even giving God a chance. I'm impatient and I want to fix it. But I can't. Only One can. In my helplessness, my inability to save the world (ha!), GOD. will. be. FAITHFUL.

This Little Light Project

I have started a new blog to advocate for orphans! I have links to orphan care and adoption resources, and I'll be advocating for specific orphans, needs, and projects. I hope to highlight different ministries and children as well. I'm excited about it - come join at http://www.thislittlelightproject.blogspot.com/ and spread the word!

~
Our dossier arrived safely on Monday. So now we wait!
The day after I sent our dossier, I found out that we needed to wire $500 along with it as a translation fee. Unfortunately, we still haven't been able to send it, because we haven't gotten the information needed to send it! They won't translate our documents until they receive the fee, so we're kind of stuck. Hopefully, we'll get the needed info soon. We could be submitted next week! In the meantime, I've been collecting donations for orphanages in Littlekid's country. I will be bringing a duffel bag stuffed with things for Littlekid's orphanage as well as some art supplies for some missionaries ministering in his country. On Monday it was my birthday, so Brennan and I went to Target and bought a bunch of shirts to send to another missionary! They were on clearance for $1.21 and $2.97, so I couldn't pass that up! Check out your local stores for clearance items that you can donate! There's a ton of winter hats at Wal-mart for .50-.75! 

Dossier, Away!

Our dossier is on its way!
I dropped it it off last night a few minutes before the store closed. So far, it's gone...a few miles. Lol! It's supposed to arrive on Tuesday though! I thought once I sent it off, I would be done. But this morning I received an email saying that effective immediately, we needed to wire $500 to our facilitators at the same time we sent our dossier! So, tomorrow morning we're off to the bank. There's been a flurry of changes in Littlekid's country's adoption process, and I am hoping and praying that there will be NO MORE changes until after we are safely submitted!
A lot of work and stress went into that pile of paper, especially in the last few weeks. Some documents had to be redone 3 or 4 times, including a last-minute homestudy rewrite. We very nearly didn't get the redone homestudy in time, but our social worker "happened" to find an extra signature sheet. It was an intense day - I was waiting for an email from the SW telling me if I could come get our homestudy, or if we'd have to wait several more days. Brennan and I had to leave in the afternoon, and I still hadn't gotten the email before we left. At 4p I couldn't stand it anymore and I called Ken and had him check my email - and our homestudy was done! We left our friend's house and had the homestudy in hand 30 minutes later! I couldn't believe how everything came together at the last minute. I shouldn't have wasted so much time worrying about it :).
It's nervewracking and relieving to have the dossier gone. Now all I can do is wait *patiently* until we are submitted. Hopefully, prayerfully, it won't be long until I am holding my little boy!