His faithfulness in my helplessness

Background: I wrote this to the RR group, but I wanted it here too, as a reminder to myself. "Masha" is a 4 y.o. girl who is about to be transferred to a horrible institution.

I'm writing this in hopes it will minister to someone the way it did to me :).

I desperately wanted to say "yes" to Masha. You know how some kids just grab you? I knew her name in an instant. We tried. We were shot down. Our agency will not allow us to adopt two unrelated children at the same time (and I could write a whole other post about THAT). I was crushed and my helplessness overwhelmed me. Masha, Alexander, Mila, Anastasia(46) (oh my heart!), Karina (19), Shane, Chelsea... and I can't do a thing. Of course, that's not completely true. But yesterday and today the weight of my helplessness nearly did me in. I tried focusing on getting things ready for Charlie, but it didn't help. Every 7 minutes I checked to see - has a family stepped forward? I was angry. How DARE our agency think it knows what is best for my family. Do they even KNOW what an institution is? God - what are you doing??

Did you know that God has a plan? That Masha is more important to Him than she could ever be to me? Yeah. I forget sometimes. Then tonight I heard a song. I didn't catch who it was by; maybe someone here will know it. The song starts out like this:

"You magnify my helplessness
So I can see your faithfulness"

At first I thought, great, just what I need! My helplessness even more magnified!
Then, it hit me. I am helpless - God is not. God is faithful. Would I see that, do I see that, when I am "helping" myself? When I step in and say, "I've got it, God."? Sometimes, I am not even giving God a chance. I'm impatient and I want to fix it. But I can't. Only One can. In my helplessness, my inability to save the world (ha!), GOD. will. be. FAITHFUL.